Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
