check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
