Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
