Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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