I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Found your dick twin last night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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