question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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