You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
