Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
