All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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