He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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