her vagine was all disorganized.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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