I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
