Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Shame is for Republicans.
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