I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
