So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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