it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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