i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
