But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
