I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I would ride that face into the sunset
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