Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
