my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
