even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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