Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
