I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
