oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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