the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
