do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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