OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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