They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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