At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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