My hair reeks of homosexuality.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
