I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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