Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
