He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
This toilet bowl is my home.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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