That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
