Me too!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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