It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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