Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
