he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
