Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
