When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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