not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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