i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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