you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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