It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
