my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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