the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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