; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
