I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
