I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Buhtt sex?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
