"it" just moved
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
