I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
