i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
